Start of the reckonning


OK well let's see. University of Mississippi is out of the picture for now becausethey wanted morework expereince. If this carries on I might as wellget the 1-2 year work expereince before I go back and do masters just to show and pacify them that look ,Hahahah I have work expereince and it didn't really influence your uni program at all.

Whummm finish warcraft 3 finally, love the last mission. Gonna go to ipoh this saturday and send of friends from the airport again. Tomb raider 2 so so so only but better than charlie angels 2. Whummm got Children of Dune may watch that tomorrow and probably will catch up on reading. bwai

ZzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzz



SL today just feel like ZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzz why? well ZzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzZzzz is good . For when you ZzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzz no worries, unless of course unless..you get a nightmare about what you're worrying and that would be hell and that would thereby make ZzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzz not ZzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzz anymore but a sleepinghELL!!! So if you're having a nightmare please please wakeUP or (only for the elites here) dream your worries away or solve your worries in the dream itself. HeBAT LEhHhhhhh very few people have the opportunity to do this and even fewer actually succeeds.
What am I talking about today asnyway? Ahhhhhhhhhh crap the melot.

Better left unsaid


Ok after more thaN 72 hours of Leo functions from the begginning ot the end , seeing the same people, having fun with the same people and laughing about old times that were spent before with the same people, no wonder these same people pair up with each other as couples so often, for if all they hear and see the same people day in day out naturally something will happen!!.
My suspicions were correct that a 3rd party has influenced my long time crappy leo friend who is actually as crappy if not more than me, But after yesterday and a few bottle of Heineken were back to normal again. And as for another issue that have been slowly creeping up on me, let's just say something are better off left unsaid and be left in the shadows for all eternity. Hopefully forgotten as the "truth" maybe what resides in the Pandora box minus the virtue "Hope". Nevertheless it has proven a point though, my sense of forseeing certain events in the future has been more accurate lately (was it because I'm oldeR or more experience). In this world one can't be naive and gullible even in front of friends whom you thought you knew of from ages ago. They are more "likely to backstab you than people who don't know you" Charles Winstor .

Short Comings


It is surfice to say that I'am officially depress but who cares anyway. The change of life the short comings before and the recent event that spark it all. Maybe because it reminds me of my mortality and how fragile life is especially towards the ideal dream and future I hold so dear.

Biggest misconception everyone has here and over there is that Daryan is more or less invulnerable. Whumph Yah right, only God is invulnerable and I'am not even close to that image. It maybe that the Green Eye monster has got me that I was bested at my own game,or maybe just the condition of losing out to someone has spaek it. Who knows, why bother I'll deal with it. ALONE. Like I always have Like I always do. Why? DEAL with it. Something are better left alone in the Shadows, for it may not be same in the Light.

So what's new? My whole current life is now revolved around the Leo organization and Brats with a minor influx of old school mates which tend to be in one or both of those organizations as well. My whole weekend has been booked by the Leos from morning to night, what happened to life? Maybe it's time to go low profile and approach greener postures .. but is the really always greener at the other side or does it only seem to be greener? Good luck philosophers on that.

I got to admit one thing though. I'm very fast in getting updated and fitting right in again, is asthough I never left to the states 2 years ++ ago and a few Lions can ovuch for that. But I do admit I'am not like the "Ancient" ones whom people had been branding me. So read my mind what I'am thinking about, read me like a book if you please , if you can, it saves me a lot of explanation. But by reading me like a book, how would you know that it is not what I want to potray to you of what you think that I'am? Whummm ponder over it. I forsee a lot of wine drinking this saturday with the ancient ones...whumm I wonder will that person come.

Another issue at hand. I will and I promise I will if god is willing, if my endless sins of yesteryears and future circumstantial sins be forgiven by the lord. With all situational criteria falling inplace. I promise then it will be known. For now I'll let them talk, I'll let them gossip, I'll let them mock, I'll let them laugh. For when and if I truly return I promise it'll be so smooth it would be the same as having your neck slit by a dagger while in sleep. Only the lord knows when the time is right and if I'll actually be given it.


On the day there was Light, so was the birth of Shadows.

Nothing of what you knew


Today SL(ShadowLight) has a mental block on what to blog,
So SL decided to throw a rock,
Hoping that the rock will not be knock,
Or caught by a bloke who is broke.


SL thinks the commenting script had went bye bye again.
Which means the lamenting will began,
And everyone knows that it is so mundane,
But who is it to complain?

Why does everyone think I'm so free?

Why does everyone think I'm so free?



First thing first SL(ShadowLight) has officially been benned from drinking "Tao chong" AKA Soya Bean milk drink which quoted from SL form 5 bio teacher Mr.Lum "Has Lignin which is good for retrieval of memory, especially in the context of studying". But since SL is not currently studying, SL loses this argument to his mom and to further add spite SL was one of the speaker of the inter-class debating champions for form 5.

Second thing, SL think people shouldn't take him for granted. Everyone else thinks that SL is FREE. Yes SL is free but SL FREE still has obligations and his own future to take care off which currently is a big question mark with a capital "Q" ,not that SL don't have direction or ambition but it's the waiting or down time that is occuring right now. SL is already involve in a major inter-country project for his leo club and is now trying to be persuaded to co-write a book and organize a Youth camp for youths too.

AHhhHHhhHHhH this are times when SL sometimes think rather would life be different if he were more low profile instead of everyone knowing who he is and that he can get things done.

Look!! huh??? LighTthThhtThtH



Today SL(ShadowLight) decided to declare a self-holiday!! YippEeEeEEee not considering the fact thaqt SL has been bumming around for almost 2 months now!! and would soon need to get his Butt off the big fat bad comfortable couch and continue to do something more meaningful.

SL dunno why he's such a good counsellor. well maybe not good but it does makes a different but can't hardly counsel himself. Maybe it was because of the vigorous training back in highschool as a Student peer counsellor.whummmm .receive e-mail from buddies in Kentucky, the house cook (Gwen) said the place where I use to sit on the makan table now so empty and quiet. So touchinGgGg.

SL agrees that today blog has nothing to do with today blogs topic. Sign of SL becoming old or evermore demented. It colud be just a symptoms from people from OuG.
On da lighter side SL friend from England who is also from OuG will be arriving this wednesday.

AhhHh lighTttTtT LighThTtHthtt ..whumm where's da Shadow?

End of a busy day


Ok what Can I say SL(Shadowlight) was half here and half there the whole time. Started up with the Brats potato carnival sale in giant this morning that weren't too bad, SL made rM50++ for charity for selling candle/hamster/bird holders and would have sold more is No.1 mom came into the picture earlier before SL left.
It was nice to see Standardsized taiping gals around again with the usual entrage of Bratty Brats .

Then SL mysteriously dissapeared from the scene and ended up the Joint omega leo club installation looking as "Dashing as ever" quoted from a leo except with extraordinary damaged hair due to climatic changes of SL recent living environment.

SL went to a series of mamak that involves members of 5 leo clubs across the penisula and Hong kong, Crapped a lot as usual and even celebrated a Birthday of a new member of SL leo club in the mamak store.

A bit dish because SL felt being ignored by someone living in Oz (not Da OuG gal) and doubly dish to discover that one of his favourite leo friends to crap with has changed into this Action LCLY(think cantonese) Leo from a crappy leo as me from a particular Leo club.

on the lighter side a close friend of mine has finally find housing in Oz at the Emerald city (Melbourne) and maybe just maybe another connection line of ages long forgotten has been just re-establish, but SL wouldn't count his 2 cents on it,

AhHh comments SL is speaking in riddles, let it be.

End of a busy day

Just one of those days


Today I shall write from a 2nd or 3rd person perspective. Every once in a while SL(ShadowLight) experiences one of those "days" where he felt the whole world has gone upside down and one big gigantic mess. It could be that SL could still be suffering from the residuals of reverse culture shock but since he had experienced the same thing before many times in the states, it is surfice to say that this "day" isn't due to reverse culture shock. Comprende

On days like this and it's just his lick that today is a Very Very pack day on his schedule that SL may had accidently pissed of people from 3 separate organization at 2 separate venus and at 3 different time but all at the same time. OhhHhh woes SL for he did not meant it. Even while writing this blog SL felt that he is a bit demented and is writing utter crap that doesn't make sense even to himself. What's worse SL schedule tomorrow is as bad if not worse than today. sigh sighh

ahhhhhhhhh so sadd..it's just one of those days for SL, hopefully tomorrow he'll be OK.

P O T A T O E S


1) General complain. Delayed Blogging. Yes guilty at charge again. y? T3 sucks. Time to go on strike
y? I smell like a baked potato. Been spending the whole day baking potato today.
y? Gonna be busy the whole friday and saturday running from a Brat's meeting to a Leo meeting and from a Brats event to a LEo event.

Irony? 2 major events and meetings this week and weekend only, but next 2 weekend Ditto from either organization.


Lighter side: Get resume ready for future employer to be and chase after Uni's for my master applications

Reminder: T3 sucks. don't say I didn't warn you

p/s: Gal who rear pigs in kelong AKA No.1 still can crap as always

Hot Hot Hot and Dumb Uni's


Ok you know what is dumb?
The post eating up my uni applications..Finddd they didn't receive one document but TWO!! AgHhghghghghghgh oh well will send it again later own this week. $#%#@%@ yup yup hope they don't read this bloggGgggg!!

GaRgHghHGhGHgHgHgHghghghGhg

Whumm gonna be a Really Really busy week this week.....and after that sort of a rest.
phEwWwwWw

Daryan's Angels and Charlotte's Pigs?


Due to some friends , some of my friends are now known as Daryan's Angels? yup after Charlie Angels..and another friend (one of my angels) friends are pigs?? ohh don't forget the kelongS too.
Whumm I;'ve discovered nothing much really changed about my high-school mates. Still playing CS today exactly like the day before I left to the states (2 years ago). Maybe there are minute changes but generally still the same.
Whumm they said I've changed,,weirdd...

Ahh yesterday I had VIP treatment in emporium as a member of the presSs...wowwww got surf into VIP seats,. black label drinks and alchoholic drinks...whummmm with front row seats just 3-4 feet away from professional dancer...WaHhhH damn cool. oh well it wasn't an all fun holiday.. got to interview the editor and PR officer of the body shop and cleo.

Oink Oinkkkkk



So tireDdddddDdDdDdd got elected assistant secretary for my leo club without further adou...let's see..been desginate a liason officer between Malaysia and HK leo clubs....I just got back and I felt that I'm as busy as EVER!!!!! and I haven't even sorted myself YET!!!!!!!! AGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


whummm I wonder when it is a good time to come to melbourne..........whummmmmmmmm whummmmmmmmmmm aiyakkkkkkkkkk so many things to do, so ,many thing uncertain , so little time..\as alwaysssss aihhhhhhhhhhhh

yYaWnNNnnnn


I'm not even one week through and i'm already having multiple conflict on my schedules...
leos or Brats, old school maltes or relatives?? HaihHHHhhHhhHhhHhhhhhhhh everyoby got to be busy on the same day as everyone else and free on the same day as everyone else also.



whujmm sleepyYyyYyyYyyy ...I wonder how does one combat bad dreams? any suggestions?? I have a dear friend having some pretty bad dreams lately..
please do tELL!!!

Defcon contingency plan


To protect myself from all the outside threats I have resolved myself to certain principles of self-defence.


1) To not reveal anything about myself unless entirely necessary. Information and knowledge is power. To reveal or expose anything of this sort will cause an inefficient reduction of power.

2) Secretcy and ignorance will be my second principle. It is always more advantageous and safer when you do things in the dark or deny something of importance that you actually know.

3) Friends/Allies are but a loosely coined term for sheeps in wolf clothing. If there's nothing to be gained mutually then the term friends will be then changed to enemy. That is the way, (quote war manual of Sun Tzu). even blood is only as thick as one perceive it to be.

4) The art of manipulation and politics solely weights upon other people perception of what you can do or cannot. Even if you can't but if you're superiors think you can't, then when you goofed up it's not entirely your fault. So doesn't this make you think that this blog entry is trying to influence your perception of me in a certain way or not? contemplate it or don't bother at all.. which would you think I'm trying to make you do?

5) The last principle life is short, rewards are high when the risk are high. If you die for someone make sure you'll die for yourself for I know the codes and honors of ages ago has long since diminish. Virtues of old whom I'm ready to dedicate myself too are but last long forgotten and casted away. Other people and organization deffinitely will not die for you.

Bahhh the world?


Well let's see. I'm deffinitely suffering from early stages of reverse-culture shock. Been feleing stress out ofr nothing and hostile towards friendlies and worse of all the deepening feelisng of frustration. Hope it won't last long.
Also I've realized the rules of the game back home and in the states ain't that much different as I initially expected. To keep it short, basically 'Nobody cares'.
Damn memalufying(malay for being shy) when I went and sent of a friend to the airport recently that a bunch of people can recognise who I am but I can't recognise who they are. Crap.
If the whole world is just a bunch of people who play intensive manipulation where best friends steals their best friends gf (yes even backhome it happens and I thought the Malaysian US dilemma in the states caused it to happen there only) then I have nothing more to say but to pray for this world and hope god has not forsaken the world nor me.
Whum maybe it's time to go to church and to confess all the politics i did in the states and the unavoidable politics that i'll soon be thrown into back in Malaysia whether I like it or not.
Both in the organization/work/society/friends and yes friends context too.

I'm so sick of playing the cloak and dagger puppetteer role even to my friends, but my little pioneer experiment of being honest in a recent farewell party backfired pretty bad. When I tell the truth nobody believes me, but when i lied people believe. I guess like a friend ones said ,playing politics is my forte. Guessed I can't escape it , it's probably my fate to play politics with whomever, whenever and whereever I'am. A sad life it is ,, nevertheless life.

Ahhhh a whole new but old world?



Whummmm I think I'm still suffering from jetlagg...dose off wihle driving on the road today.. yah my mom think I'm mad, just got back from the states and less than 24 hours I was driving around KL and Pj, one to a friend farewell party to go to Oz (Australia) and to attend a friends b'day all on the same day and that was YESTERDAY!!. Today i went to another friend farewell party.. Seen a lot of old faces and boy have people changed, physically and mentally too. So did I in a way.

EuGhHh not used in seeing everyone ASIANs, reverse culture shock!!!!! no caucasians weiRdDdDddD...... not that it is bad just that I think I'm suffering from reverse culture shock..
Food is delicious though.. met up with my old leo friends, Brats friends, Daryan's angels (so a friend coined the term since it's 4 gals from an all gal school) and hopefully tomorrow or sometimes later i'll meet up with my high school classmatess too.

whumm turned the wiper on twice when I wanted to signal and drove on the wrong side of the road once for 2-3 seconds.. yupp that's the problem when I got used driving on the left side of the road and now got to swithch to the right side again!!

Bumming in Kiasuland


YEsss Yess I can stand...waitt whoaAaa the whole place is FULL of Asian people!!! AGHhgHGhghg (not that I have anything against Asian people..heck i'm an Asian and I love it But I'm not used to seeing more than 4-5 asians in an area (been leaving in the states for a while).....wwoowWwWw people aren't speaking english (ok im starting to sound like a redneck..what's a redneck ? it's the amercian term for what we Malaysian deemed "Jakun"!!


UgHH I hope blogger don't makan my blog because I can't access my blog page.!!!
LEt's see what's new in Kiasuland? besides soldiers walking around with machine gun every 8 minute behind me (extremely punctual).. the airport is kinda dead...thanks to free internet im online noW hahahahaahahahahaa well got to go byeee..
will be back in Malaysia in about 7 hourss , yup im stuck here for around 6 hours till my next flight byEe

Till we meet again


OK I'm writing this blog for the second time, in around a few hours time I'll be on my way on a 21 hour total flight journey with a total of 34 hours travelling time. It'll take approximately almost 3 days for me to arrive back at my home country due to the time loss and total travelling time..


sigh.... had a few more farewell card and watched my last cinema movie here in Lexington, Kentucky.

hahahahaha got to go soon...byeee